The Emotional Toll of Sleep Issues

We’ve all been here after a bad night's sleep: we spend the day groggy, irritable, and unable to focus. Even minor mishaps throw us off our game. Our fuse feels shorter and it’s harder to self-regulate. When this is just an occasional occurrence, it’s usually possible to salvage the day through strong coffee, extra patience, and the promise of an early bedtime and the chance to try again tomorrow.

The impact of chronic sleep issues lasting weeks or months, however, is far more severe: long-term sleep debt and disrupted sleep can take a toll on physical and mental health over time, even going so far as to affect our interpersonal relationships and sense of self. If you’re constantly tossing and turning all night, especially during major life transitions like menopause, it’s not just your sleep quality that’s jeopardized; it’s your ability to thrive at work and at home each day.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) recommends that adults sleep seven or more hours per night to promote optimal health. While sleep needs vary from person to person and can change a bit with age, ideally we’re all getting enough to let our brains cycle through the different stages of sleep that help with memory, cognition, mood regulation, and more. Below, we’ll explore the emotional impacts of sleep problems and offer practical strategies to reclaim your rest and restore some much-needed emotional balance—particularly during menopause, when quality sleep becomes elusive and emotions can take you on a wild ride.

The sleep-emotion connection (and why it matters)

Sleep and mental health are intertwined in a complex, often cyclical relationship. Poor sleep can exacerbate existing mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression—and these mental health challenges can in turn make it harder to fall asleep, wake you up with racing thoughts in the middle of the night or early in the morning, or prevent you from reaching the stages of deep sleep you need to feel rested the next day. It's a frustrating loop that can leave you feeling helpless and overwhelmed.  

Here are some of the ways that sleep deprivation can wreak havoc on your emotional state:

• Increased irritability and mood swings: Lack of sleep makes it harder to regulate emotions. Small annoyances can feel monumental, and you might find yourself snapping at loved ones more easily.

• Greater risk of anxiety and depression: Sleep deprivation fuels anxiety. Your mind races with worries, making it difficult to relax and quiet the inner critic. This can lead to a persistent state of unease and dread.

• Difficulty with concentration and decision-making: When your brain is sleep-deprived, cognitive functions suffer. This affects your ability to focus, make clear decisions, and problem-solve effectively. These challenges can lead to feelings of frustration, inadequacy, and overwhelm.

• Lowered resilience and coping skills: Sleep is essential for emotional resilience. Without it, your ability to bounce back from stress is significantly diminished. You might find yourself feeling more vulnerable and less equipped to handle life's challenges.

• Social withdrawal: Feeling emotionally drained and overwhelmed can lead to social withdrawal. You might avoid social interactions because you lack the energy or emotional capacity to engage, but over time, isolation only adds to feelings of loneliness and depression.

How to bolster emotional health while dealing with sleep issues

Given that good sleep is a necessity, not a luxury, make it a top priority to get sufficient, high-quality sleep every night, including weekends. It’s an act of self-care: by breaking the cycle of poor sleep, you can begin to reclaim your emotional balance. In addition to improving sleep hygiene—through a consistent sleep schedule, a relaxing bedtime routine, and an optimal sleep environment—try the following activities to help boost your mood:

• Mindfulness and meditation: These techniques can help calm the mind and reduce racing thoughts, making it easier to fall asleep and manage anxiety. Even a few minutes of daily practice can make a difference (and might improve your mood and focus during the day, too).

• Regular exercise: Physical activity can improve sleep quality and boost your mood and resilience. Avoid intense workouts close to bedtime, as vigorous exercise can make it more challenging to relax and prepare for sleep, and, for some, lead to more menopause hot flashes at night.

• Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a healthy way to process emotions and reduce stress.  

• Make time for friends: Whether you’re seeking new connections or missing old friends, reach out to the people you love. The demands of everyday life can easily pull us out of the habit of nurturing our social lives, particularly during midlife, when many women are juggling work alongside family obligations like caring for children, aging parents, or both. Higher caregiving burdens have been linked to more severe menopause symptoms, and feelings of isolation are common during menopause, so calling on your support system is more important than ever.

• Seek support: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, a therapist can provide support and guidance in managing any emotional challenges related to sleep issues.

• Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially during periods of disrupted sleep. Having trouble sleeping is not a moral failing or something you brought upon yourself, and the physical and emotional consequences of sleep loss are very real. You’re not wrong for wanting better sleep! In a culture that doesn’t deeply value rest, prioritizing it—and your wellbeing—is a powerful choice.

Shifting your sleep habits often feels much easier said than done, so know that finding a solution is sometimes more than a matter of trying new routines. If you’re dealing with a medical condition, sleep disorder such as sleep apnea, or challenging menopause symptoms that can affect sleep, mood, and mental health as well, talk with a doctor for guidance. You don’t have to solve this all by yourself.

The connection between sleep, nutrition, and emotional wellbeing

We know that our diet can affect our moods, our risks for diseases such as diabetes and cancer, and our cognitive functioning. But food is also connected to sleep. Growing research suggests that the quality of our diet (i.e. having sufficient amounts of key nutrients on a regular basis) can actually affect the quantity and quality of our sleep. That may explain why diets that are low in fiber, high in saturated fat, and high in sugar have been associated with poorer quality sleep. Another large study found that deficits in certain nutrients—including magnesium, calcium, and vitamins A, C, D, E, and K—are associated with sleep problems.  

A quick word about sugar: don’t be too quick to write off all sources of sugar and carbohydrates as problematic. While there is good evidence for avoiding refined, processed sugars for all sorts of health benefits, our bodies need carbs to function, and even simple carbohydrates (which can get a bad rap at times) are found in foods that offer additional nutritional value, like fruits and some dairy products. Even though it’s recommended to eat complex carbs like legumes and whole grains for a slower release of energy and fewer blood sugar spikes, you don’t necessarily need to give up sweet treats like a piece of delicious after-dinner fruit just in the hopes of sleeping a little better. It’s full of fiber and other nutrients you need to thrive.

If you’re looking to improve your sleep quality, mood, and overall health through nutrition, Melissa Burton, Registered Dietitian Nutritionist at Gennev, offers the following framework for thinking about a healthy diet:

Carbs + protein and/or fat

Why this formula? Carbs provide energy and are the preferred fuel for your brain, protein supports muscle tissues, hormone regulation, and satiety (the feeling of fullness and satisfaction from eating), and fat helps protect your tissues and organs and assists with brain function, hormone production, and vitamin absorption as well as satiety.

Burton advises her patients to pay attention to their hunger and fullness cues before and after eating and to try to eat every 3-4 hours during the day, including having breakfast shortly after waking to fuel the brain and body for the day ahead. She also emphasizes consuming fiber, vitamins, and minerals from a variety of foods to round out a healthy diet and being mindful of fluid intake.

In addition to consuming necessary macro and micronutrients, building healthy food-related sleep habits can help too: for instance, limit caffeine intake in the afternoons and evenings; avoid alcohol before bedtime; limit or avoid large late-night meals; and consider experimenting to see if certain foods trigger (or relieve!) your hot flashes.  

Find relief while living with a sleep disorder during menopause

If you’ve been dealing with chronic sleep disruption that’s not responding to lifestyle changes, it could be time to investigate the possibility of a sleep disorder. During menopause, women are at increased risk for disorders like sleep apnea, but the good news is that relief is possible: with Complete Sleep, you can get screened for sleep apnea through an easy, accurate test that you can take from the comfort of home. And if you do have sleep apnea, Complete Sleep offers effective treatment with custom-fitted night guards.  

If your sleep troubles have coincided with menopause and brought with them a whole host of new or more worrisome mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, even out-of-nowhere rage, know that while this is not uncommon, it’s not something you just have to live with until your hormones decide to even out.

You’re not alone, and there are resources available to help you manage the combined challenges of sleep loss, emotional distress, and menopause symptoms. Reach out to one of the menopause-trained clinicians at Gennev to discuss a personalized care plan to treat fatigue, brain fog, mood swings, and more.